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Warum überquerte das Huhn die Strasse???
Why did the chicken cross the road???
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
JACK NICHOLSON: 'cause it f***ing wanted to. That's the f***ing reason.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
KURT WALDHEIM: It only fulfilled its duty, like hundreds of thousands of
other chickens as well.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken
'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be
free to cross roads without having their motives being called into question.
BORIS JELZIN: We will show this chicken that we are still a superpower. It is
not allowed to cross the road without our accordance. Now bring me my wodka.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and
there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens
have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did
NOT cross the road.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The
end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
FRED SINOWATZ: All this is very complicated.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone
ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over
the place, anyway?"
JESUS: And see the chicken. Does it work? But isn't it free, free to cross the
road?
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
JÖRG HAIDER: Any chicken crossing the road is one too much and raises the crime
rate to horrible dimensions.
GEORGE BUSH JR.: Chi-Ken? Isn't that the chinese foreign minister? Why shouldn't
he cross roads?
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not
only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
your checkbook.
A TALIBAN: Hack off a wing and it will never again try to cross the road wanting
to attract sexual attention.
BILL CLINTON: I'm going to say something important. And I'll say it again to
make sure you understand. I did not have sexual relations with that chicken. I
did not.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the
road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time,
whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in
such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
SIR POPPER: Even watching millions of chicken crossing the road is no proof that
every chicken crosses roads, what you intended to say.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the
chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
MC CARTHY: To undermine the loyality of american people, preparing the coming of
communism.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
EMPEROR FERDINAND II. OF AUSTRIA: Is it allowed to, then? or: Because it is
looking for its second head.
EDI FINGER, SR.: I wer' narrisch! - Rennt des Hendl net glatt ueber die
Straaaaass'n!! (translation: not available)
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
PAUL HOGAN: That's not a chicken. This is a chicken...
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one? It was crossing
HANSI ORSOLICS: Wal's z'potschert woa. Jetz' hot's verlur'n. (translation
n.a.)
ANDERSEN CONSULTANT: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was
threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant
challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly
competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the
client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and
implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen
helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and
experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support
of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen
Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens
along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry
to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal
knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with
each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully
architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the
continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like
setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically
based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market
message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This
was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.
Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to
become more successful.
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